ROLLER DERBY is both exciting and scary. It’s exciting because Derby women exemplify toughness, strength and sexiness all at once; and it’s scary because anything can happen, a few bruises are one thing—but broken bones?
Last Thursday our office was graced with a visit from David Hyatt (aka Hambone, Head of Marketing for Gotham Girls Roller Derby) and Natily Blair (Ginger Snap, GGRD All-Star Team and Bronx Gridlock). We had invited them over to discuss the re-release of Bob Ray’s Hell on Wheels and the up coming bout of Brooklyn Bombshells Vs. Queens of Pain on the following Saturday.
SATURDAY NIGHT IS ROLLER DERBY NIGHT AT HUNTER COLLEGE
All geared up to attend, we picked out our new derby names, (although we have since found out- ours are not all that original) and prepared ourselves to witness Hell on wheels beyond the awesome doc.
STATS:
Team IndieKixs
Alanna Raben- TinkerHell
Paige Gregor- Citizen Rage
Mark DeFrancis- Nine Inch Nailer
Kyle Walters- NinjaVitis
7.30PM
AFTER joining the line of eager fans at the 68th and Lexington entrance to Hunter College for the sold-out bout, and shuffling our way through the security (surprisingly tight) we picked up our free goody bags (filled with everything from Swedish fish, to make-up sealer- to WHIP IT! the book) and made our way inside.
With our Hell on Wheels posters and DVDS in hand we followed Em Dash (Co-Director of Public Relations/ Manhattan Mayhem and the All the Star Team) to the VIP section, which we found right down on the actual track, and if the thought of this doesn’t scare you- it should!
8.00PM
QUEENS OF PAIN warming up looked fierce and ready for action with their sexy stockings, hot pants and smokey eyes. Nine Inch Nailer picked his favorite team – Queens, and hottest player- Hyper Lynx (this was before he even saw her roller skills I might add) awaited the REAL action to begin. NinjaVitis decided on BROOKLYN BOMBSHELLS, and ourselves- well we were on the fence, but we did love the Queen’s black uniforms.
EXCITED (and a little scared) we waited in great anticipation for the whistle. The Players rolled onto the track, and the injured walked on for their introductions, Suzy Hotrod being one of Queens injured favorites to be present but unfortunately not playing. The crowd jittered with excitement as the pre-game festivities were drawing to a close- this included the WHIP IT quiz and prize draw, where you could also win Bob Ray’s exciting doc HELL ON WHEELS, brilliant- thanks guys!
8.30PM
WHEN the whistle finally blew, we were raring to go, alas we would not be rolling, but watching in awe as the skaters rolled on past us, and sometimes in to us! It honestly took us (well me) a while to fully understand what was going on as the girls whizzed around the track.
So for all you derby virgins out there, here are the basic rules:
** There are Jammers and blockers, the girls who have stars on their helmets are ‘JAMMERS’ and that’s what I want to be. There are two of them, they get to go super fast as they race against each other to pass as many players as possible to score. It is the BLOCKERS (stripes) who try to get in their way. At this particular match blockers such as Raggedy Animal- had us trembling in fear and it seemed her opponents looked a little the same!
(If that doesn’t make any sense to you, go to http://www.gothamgirlsrollerderby.com/about/rules to learn all about it from the professionals.)
9.15PM
OMG I gapped as Miss Saturn, our half-time entertainment, swirled 75 hula-hoops around her body simultaneously. This was by far the highlight of the night, not that the game itself wasn’t amazing enough, its just 75 HULA HOOPS is unbelievable! Miss Saturn is our new hero- and her routine brilliantly accompanied by Bonnie Tyler’s ‘I want a Hero’ has inspired us to pick up a hula hoop and dance it out- or is that just me? So that’s two new sports we are inspired to try- perhaps a whole new sport HULO HOOP ROLLER DERBY? Either way the audience thumped the ground loudly, cheered a deep-belly roar and laughed in awe. Hail Queen Saturn!
9.45PM
THE second half of the game seemed to fly by, and consisted of the Queens of Pain fighting it out desperately to win back some points. It got a little rough and the crowd waited anxiously for any possibility for Queens to regain some power, but it seemed they were playing a losing battle, even though Hyper Lynx fought tirelessly to win some last minute points, they were no match for Brooklyn’s fury.
10.30PM
AS the match came to an end, with Queens far to far behind to ever recover victory, Brooklyn took the crown for the night, winning a whopping 70 points in the lead- (sigh- poor Nine Inch Nailer grumbled beside us his loss, but had higher hopes for buying the best player of the night Hyper Lynx a drink.) Victory for this match was the Brooklyn Bombshells, but the Queens of Pain still fought a mean battle. NinjaVitis stood and cheered as the crowd went wild for Brooklyn, and the night came to an end… Well till the after party that is!
SCORE:
Queens of Pain = 67
Brooklyn Bombshells = 137
BB = B. Ambush (46)
MVP = Papierscnitt
QoP = H. Lynx (39)
MVP = H. Lynx
IndieKix Favorite Players of the Match:
TinkerHell – “I liked Raggedy Animal, she was fierce”
Citizen Rage – “Definitely MegaHurtz ‘The O.G’ and HyperLynx”
NinjaVitis - “Carmen Monoxide, highly under appreciated, my MVP of the night”
Nine Inch Nailer – “HyperLynx with out a doubt”
Support your roller derby girls, see WHIP IT! this Friday and HELL ON WHEELS now-
Available on Netflix on Demand and Re-released through IndiePix next week 10/6
Hambone and Gingersnap
